|I'm sure being a good, decent, nice person is worth more than that.|
What I'm going to say is not directed at the people who were actually involved in these scenarios... just in case they read this. These are thoughts that reflect my general outlook, merely illustrated by the chosen event(s).
I actually have a number of issues weighing on my mind, and after thinking about them (despite 5 looming mid terms/tests) I realized they all had a common theme so here it is:
I don't understand why some people seem to get so upset when they see others happy (or despite seeing others happy), and have no qualms about going out of their way to destroy it.
I get (beyond) infuriated and (tremendously) upset at this.
WHY. Would you want to interfere in someone's life? Surely you'd only do so to save them.
But if they're happy? Oh right, you still think you're saving them. (and some just don't care)
This is something that I've been meaning to post for a long time but haven't because it's so hard to find the right words to say. Even now, I'm not sure what's the best way to say this, to accurately express my thoughts, to succinctly explain my feelings, but I'm going to try anyway because trying beats never trying at all. So here's dusting the cobwebs off a post that's been sitting as a draft for a while and clicking post:
I'm Okay with Not Being Beautiful.
Or being Ugly.
Or being Unattractive.
Or even having wounds that are Disgusting.
Hold on, relax, don't panic, I'm not bitter, have low self esteem, or have body image issues.
In fact, I feel the complete opposite.
I've accepted that my body is going to look a certain way, perhaps forever, perhaps it'll change, I don't know,
I've accepted that I'm not going to look like a hot model in short skirts and short shorts,
I've accepted that I'm fine with the way I look and that I have other things I'm good at, other ambitions, other priorities.
I'm just happy that my ambitions don't have to do with being some runway model or celebrity or superstar, because I'd probably never make it looking the way I look.
Quite recently, I've had an encounter with someone that was trying to make me look good (for good reason really).
I'm the sort of person who believes very strongly in improving oneself, "upgrading", "levelling up", in all aspects of my life. As long as it isn't against my values, doesn't hurt anyone, and it's genuine self-improvement resulting in a healthier, happier, more well-rounded person, why not improve oneself?
So I'm fine with learning tips and tricks to look better, to feel better, to do even greater things. As someone in the communications line somewhat, I'm also keenly aware that image is everything. I know that people buy into how you look and the way you deliver the message, sometimes unfortunately, much more than the valuable message you're delivering. I know that in order to effective in what I do, I also have to pay attention to the way I dress, the way I look, even down to the bag I carry and the wallet I have.
So I was fine with everything that was happening, until it came to this question thrown at me regarding my skin:
If you could completely heal your skin, get rid of the scarring, look better, wouldn't you want to?
And my answer was... no, not really.
Everyone has different life experiences, different preferences, different priorities.
For some, they may want to do because they'd genuinely feel better and less distressed because our judgmental society will no longer stare at them or continually ask questions when their scarred skin is exposed
(I continue to have friends shocked at my skin when they see it so I understand the feeling completely)
And that's fine, if that's what you want. There is nothing wrong with wanting to look good, or feel good.
But that's... not what I want.
I'm not saying it's something that I Don't want, but it's just not something that I feel is important to my achieving my dreams, my goals, or even staying happy.
Yes, Staying Happy.
I'm someone who's already happy, content, and passionate about what I'm doing in life. And that, has been the greatest healing factor (lol like Wolverine) for my skin.
Whenever I'm stressed out about embarking on some large scale project/entwined in an issue I don't like, am not passionate about, or don't agree with, my skin will FREAK OUT for me and be in a terrible, terrible state. Complete with open flesh wounds, dripping pus, and of course, fresh red blood.
I'm perhaps fortunate (or unfortunate) enough to have a legitimate reason for myself to continue being a happy, content, passionate person, who needs to find new ways to make such passions sustainable.
My overall health has improved by leaps and bounds, so even when there are flare ups, I have no problems with managing it. Sometimes it still hurts, but it's nothing compared to the pain that I used to feel every day for 10 years.
But yes, I'm happy and content with the way I look. Really.
You know what makes me unhappy? When people are unhappy despite me being happy.
Stereotypes are not the problem.
Differences in values are not the problem.
Diversity is not the problem.
Narrow-mindedness, perceived superiority, and just plain old meanness are the problems.
There will also be stereotypes - born out of the extreme limited knowledge and exposure that we have to certain topics, issues, people.
If we can admit to ourselves, understand, and remember, that all that we know is not all that there is to know,
if we can remain open minded to knowing more, exposing ourselves more to the world, finding out more,
and remain humble, and not devote a care to perceiving superiority, or judging what someone is worth based on who they are or what they've done,
to remaining nice. If you cannot bring yourself to be a contributive member of society
If you somehow, just somehow, cannot bring yourself to help make the world a better place,
Then just be nice.
To not say or do mean things.
Is that really so hard to do. Really.
Something that I still don't understand.
Whoever is reading this, just be open minded, okay?
Don't make the world a worse place to be in.
Same thoughts, different time:
Make the world a better place and think of yourself first.